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W42ST Daily 5/05/2020

OK, ordinarily I don’t tend towards the melodramatic. I’m a realist. Practical. Unromantic. My love languages are: “Hey, babe, you look absolutely bloody gorgeous tonight,” and, “Gin and tonic? Double?”

But things have just taken a turn for the biblical. It’s not enough that we’re already smack bang in the middle of a pandemic; now the Lord has sent a plague of Vespa mandarinia our way.

The “murder hornet” (yes, that’s actually its name) has arrived in the US. Measuring two inches long (pause to scream blue murder), multiple stings could kill a human. And – get this – when they’re in their “slaughter phase,” they destroy honeybees, and feed the corpses to their young.

These are bad MFs.

Officials, and people who know about these things, urge anyone who sees one to “run away.” 

No shit, Sherlock. If COVID-19 couldn’t keep us indoors, a monster hornet with a grudge will do the trick. See you in the fall.


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NEW YORK STORIES
Real estate agent Danny Sayegh has gone back to his roots, joining his former colleagues in the “war zone” of the ICU. Read his story, and find out his survival tactics, at w42st.com.


HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO
Today marks the day the Mexican army defeated France at the Battle of Puebla. To celebrate, according to reliable historians, they drank far too many margaritas and ordered a ton of Taco Bell. Our columnist Patrick J Hamilton is too classy for all that. Feast your eyes on his holiday table – I want him to decorate for all my fiestas.


DO THESE THINGS
Learn Zumbini
Marcela Torres has lived in Hell’s Kitchen for more than 20 years, and trained as a zumbini instructor when her daughter was just a few months old. She’s now gone online, leading virtual classes in the movement and music activity for ages 0-5 and their parents/caregivers. Tonight’s class is at 5.30pm, and she’s offering it free for the first five applicants (it’s usually $10). Email zumbiniwithmarce@gmail.com. 

Celebrate black artists at the Town Hall
A conversation and Q&A that examines the debut performances and musical journeys of black classical artists including Roland Hayes, Marian Anderson, Paul Robeson, and more. Streaming live tonight.

Go on a new kind of lunch break
Drag, poetry, and sound combine in this digital art experience tomorrow that “unpacks lunch as ritual, concept, box, cold thermos, bake sale cupcake, paper bag, metal can, tray, soup, and a sandwich trading, sharing space.” Take your tray here.

Talk about meditation
Two time Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Lynn Nottage joins meditation expert Sharon Salzberg tomorrow to discuss mindfulness and the struggle to make art during the COVID crisis. it’s free, and RSVPs are required to join the conversation on Zoom, but you can also watch on Facebook Live.

Go to stripper school
Of all the skills I could learn during lockdown – a new language, perhaps; baking; hostage negotiation – I suspect this could tun out to be the most useful of all. Tomorrow, dip your toe into the fine art of stripping … virtually. No experience necessary. Apparently shy and awkward women are the BEST on stage! Where do I sign?

See the best of Broadway
While we can’t see live theater, witnessing some of Broadway’s classic moments is the next best thing. On Thursday, see John Malkovich and Patti LuPone in David Mamet’s November, a play that follows the misadventures of a day in the life of US president Charles Smith, just before the election. It will be streamed for one night only, and proceeds will go to the Actors Fund. Find out more.


NAME GAME
It’s an oldie but goodie. What’s your stripper name? Use the name of your first pet and the street you grew up in. I’ll go first. Hey, everyone. I’m – um – Monty Midway. How about you?


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